Inspired By An Uber Passenger

Ah, the mighty 1987 Ford Pickup—a hulking mass of steel, chrome, and pure, unfiltered mechanical might. If you drove a truck like that back in the day, you were practically royalty of the road. You could feel every twist of the bolt, smell the honest grease, and hear the satisfying roar as you stomped on the gas. Fast forward to 2024, and here we are with the Cybertruck—a marvel of modern tech, an electric slab of power so silent it sneaks up on you like a caffeine-free cup of coffee.

So, what happened? How did we go from "need a wrench, a friend, and a 12-pack of Bud Light to fix this thing" to "call IT because my truck won’t sync with my phone?"

The 1980s: When Wrenches Were King

Back in 1987, trucks didn’t have "brains." They had guts, and those guts were all there for you to see, tinker with, and occasionally smack with a wrench until things started working again. It was a simpler time. You could pull into your driveway, pop the hood, and understand what you were looking at—mostly. There were carburetors, radiators, spark plugs, and belts. All mechanical, no microchips required.

I mean, sure, the gas mileage was equivalent to the calorie intake of a teenage linebacker, but that was just part of the charm! And if something went wrong? You didn’t get an alert on an app; you got smoke or a rattling noise you could trace directly to the problem. Didn’t need a degree in computer science—just a couple of tools, a solid playlist, and maybe a strong opinion about carburetors.

Today: Trucks That Whir Instead of Roar

Enter the Cybertruck. The futuristic marvel. It’s all brushed steel and sharp angles, and there’s nothing under the hood—because there’s no engine in the front. The sound is less "vroom-vroom" and more "whoosh-whoosh." The truck practically glides down the road like a Jedi on a hoverboard, all while crunching data instead of gravel.

It used to be that if your 1987 Ford wouldn’t start, you could lift the hood, give a friendly thump to the engine block, and probably figure it out. But if your Cybertruck decides to take a nap? Good luck! Pop the hood, and you’ll find… a frunk (that’s a front trunk, for the uninitiated). No engine to tinker with, just a smooth, empty space staring back at you like it knows it’s smarter than you. To "fix" this beauty, you don't need a mechanic; you need a technician with a USB cable and maybe a degree in quantum computing.

The Problem-Solving Methods Have Changed

For that Ford, there were times you could solve an issue with some duct tape, a paperclip, or even a well-placed cuss word. Need to change the spark plugs? Go for it. Need to change the oil? You could probably do it with one hand tied behind your back and the other holding a cold one. Back then, every sound, every shimmy, every cough from the exhaust told you a story about what was going wrong (or right!) with your truck. You had a connection. You and your truck spoke the same language.

But in the Cybertruck era, your car has more code than conversation. Want to know why the dashboard is flashing? Better scroll through the touchscreen menu and find the right diagnostic page. Maybe it’ll tell you to update your software or reboot your truck (yes, reboot it). Heaven forbid you try and poke around under the hood yourself. You might void the warranty, or worse, unleash a stern warning from Elon Musk himself.

The Upside: Zero Oil Stains on the Driveway

For all their quirks, there’s something to be said for these modern marvels. No more changing oil every few thousand miles or dealing with mysterious puddles of coolant seeping out overnight. Your hands are clean, your driveway is pristine, and when something breaks, you don’t need to hunt down that one friend who still remembers how to work on carburetors. Just call up Tesla Support or schedule an appointment for a "software patch."

The Downside: No More Weekend Tinkering

Gone are the days of backyard wrench sessions, passing out tools to your buddy while you leaned over the open hood. Today, you get error codes and firmware updates. The Cybertruck may be a powerhouse on the road, but where’s the fun if you can’t bond with it over a busted muffler or a squeaky belt? It’s all so... streamlined. So high-tech. It’s like living with a quiet genius who won’t stop updating his OS.

A Silent Monster

The 2024 Cybertruck has power, sure, but it’s a mighty beast without a roar. It sneaks up, silent as a Tesla, blending into the future while leaving behind the messy, glorious, grease-streaked past.

So here’s to the Ford pickups of yesteryear, with their noise, character, and unmistakable rumble. And here’s to the Cybertruck—the sleek, quiet genius who traded growling horsepower for silent kilowatts. A new kind of beast for a new age, though it will never truly replace that earthy, hands-on joy of a good old ’87 Ford pickup.