Inspired by: Kid on TikTok

Why the Legal Age for Summoning Satan is Only 8

As we all know, life is filled with milestones. You turn 16, and you're finally allowed behind the wheel. At 21, the doors to bars and wineries open up to you. But if you're looking to summon the Prince of Darkness himself? Well, apparently, that just requires you to know your ABCs and how to spell "demon." Yes, all it takes is a group of giggling 8-year-olds with a Ouija board in Mom’s basement, and presto—Satan may or may not appear!

Let's Break This Down, Shall We?

When you think about it, the age restrictions for various rites of passage are a little all over the place. Some things make sense—driving, for example. We wouldn’t want little Johnny, fresh out of the third grade, zipping down the freeway in Dad’s SUV. And drinking? Sure, let's wait until we (hopefully) have the maturity not to chug half a bar in one go. But apparently, summoning the Dark Lord? Go right ahead, kiddos!

How did this come to be? Is there a lawmaker out there somewhere saying, “Ah yes, demon summoning—only dangerous enough for grade-schoolers”?

What Was the Thought Process Here?

1. The Wild Imagination Clause
   Some might argue that summoning ancient entities should be left to those whose imagination still runs wild and free. At age 8, children believe in magic, wonder, and the ability to eat candy for breakfast with no consequences. Isn’t that the kind of creative spark you want when you're trying to get Beelzebub to RSVP?
   
   

2. Responsibility Level Requirement
   It's worth mentioning that no 8-year-old is expected to actually handle the responsibility of managing the underworld. I mean, they’re just there to ask if their pet hamster is in heaven, not broker Faustian deals.
   
   

3. Spelling Test
   By age 8, you’re just learning to spell words like “consequence” and “eternity,” which gives you just the right level of spelling competency for Ouija. So, if you accidentally summon Stan instead of Satan, it’s a harmless oopsie rather than a dealbreaker. Plus, with limited vocabulary, there’s little chance of accidentally summoning a full-blown apocalypse.

Imagine the Legal Roadblocks if We Raised the Age

If we had an age limit of, say, 18 or 21, we’d have a bunch of Ouija-wielding, pentagram-drawing rebels out there breaking the law by summoning dark forces behind the school gym. Nobody needs that. Not to mention, think of the satanic peer pressure:

14-Year-Old: “Come on, man, just try it once. All the cool kids are summoning Azazel these days.”

15-Year-Old: “Nah, I’m gonna wait until I’m legal. But I’ll watch.”

No parent wants to have that talk.

Should There Be a Test?

Considering that eight-year-olds lack judgment in most areas, should we at least have a basic knowledge test before they can call forth an entity from another realm? A quick questionnaire like:

1. Are you prepared for any consequences of a Faustian deal? (Yes/No)
2. How likely are you to panic if the board spells out "DOOM"? (Yes/No)
3. Do you know how to safely say goodbye on the board if things get out of hand? (Yes/No)

Because let’s face it, without that goodbye, you’re just asking for a spiritual squatter.

Conclusion: It’s Probably Fine

So, while we may question the wisdom of leaving arcane rituals to the same age group that needs constant reminders to wash their hands, let’s embrace it as a rite of passage for the young and curious. Just remember, it’s all fun and games until Beelzebub accepts the invitation—and at that point, Mom and Dad will probably wish you’d stuck to watching cartoons.

So, next time you see a group of 8-year-olds huddled around a glow-in-the-dark Ouija board, just smile and nod. After all, they could be forging lifelong friendships, strengthening spelling skills, or… summoning a demon to hang out for a bit.